smoothie

JESS

Jess’s Weekly Grocery List:

NOTE: All items must be carried in an iconic rainbow satchel

#1. 4 gallons of really specific insults that make you question if you’re crying laughing or just crying

#2. 17 boxes of unbridled intellect

#3. The tears of a k-pop star

#4. A loaf of heavenly vocals that are smooth and reserved, yet impressively powerful and resonant at the same time

#5. Broccoli

#6. 19 years of hard work and dedication sold in bulk

#7. Strawberry milk

#8. 4 pounds of lesbian wisdom

#9. A brace to support her knees from carrying Ryan Micah’s fanbase on her shoulders

#10. Strawberry milk

#11. 5 new iPhone to handle all the storage taken up by 0.5x zoom photos

#12. A party-sized package of bloody good bants mate (must be spoken in a British accent, if not, go back and reread that)

#13. 25 cans of condensed strawberry milk

#14. A lot of yarn recently, for some reason

#15. A newborn child who is also a geriatric cat

#16. The best, brightest, most caring smoothie the world has ever seen, without whom her smoothie sibling would feel incomplete

#17. And finally… your mom

clay