Medley
Kieth
It is a mystery that a person in this group can have more than three different first names. You could say he has something in common with a certain cat petted by a famous physicist. No, no, no, he doesn’t have multiple personalities. He is just…him.
Look at the guy trailing behind the rest of the group. See? The poor figure killing his feeble arms dragging a gigantic Logs suitcase full of merchandise? You can’t miss him.
Yet that is not the end of the mystery. For every serenade, he can somehow afford to kneel down, seat a lovely female volunteer on his lap, and not break his equally feeble leg. Okay, just imagine the picture of when our lovely volunteers are three-dimensionally larger than him… and you get the point.
God have mercy on him.
However, it seems like in his brain, which, again, is feeble, there is also something special going on.
The very composer of his twig class song.
The first arranger among his peers.
The CPW opening soloist.
Do you know whom I’m talking about?
I guess there is a reason why we say when god closes a door he opens a window.
Oh, how thoughtless. You don’t even know his names yet! His favorite one is Brandon, but everybody hates it. Instead, we call him by his very real name, Kieth, which we think is the most beautiful.
mark
It is spoken, in ancient prophecy, of the existence of a being embodying true balance. It’s said that, every millennia, this godlike being graces our unworthy eyes by assuming a human form, yet this façade is never enough to conceal its glory. While such a story is controversial within the scientific community, it is indisputable amongst believers that this epitome of form already lives alongside us, and it goes by the name… Mark Mockett.
Ask anyone who’s been honored by Mark’s presence, and they’ll spin tales of impossible tasks. Every day, Mark arises with the Sun and sleeps at the scientifically optimal time (to the jealousy of many an MIT student), as his own circadian rhythm governs the flow of heavenly bodies themselves. The Sun’s very trajectory aligns with his schedule for perfect exercise, both mentally in class and physically in the gym. Traveling throughout campus, Mark sings with a touch of heaven and listeners ascend to a new plane of enlightenment, objectively defined as the most pleasure a human can possibly experience (like having your brain enveloped by the love of grandma’s cookies infused with the benevolence of Netflix).
While his praises may not be sung by scientists, Mark has decided to find acceptance amongst believers in the MIT Logs, in order to further spread his word of balance and make the world a better place through music.
deuce
Deuce Foutch was born in a Florida swamp, where under the tutelage of his sensei Jeb Bush, he mastered the arts of philosophy, cynical sarcasm, and somehow managing to still look good in the same shirt he was wearing yesterday and the day before that. While there he also decided to take up musical theater, in his free time, of course, when he wasn’t busy blessing a kitten or building a day care. In fact, Deuce has always had an affinity for music. Whenever a new fire Pokemon album or EP drops, he is the first to partake in said fire. Sir Deuce, in an attempt to escape the sticky, sweltering, unforgiving heat of the south, decided to go to the Northeast for college with hopes for a better life. Throughout his life, he learned that only actions are meaningful, not words. He chooses to only exist only 2 or more cuils away from reality, or else he disapproves.
Some say that if you want to summon him, you can do so with this simple incantation:
“The lord is my deuce, I shall not deuce. He maketh me to deuce in green deuces. He restoreth my deuce. Though prepareth a deuce before me in the presence of enemies. My deuce runneth over. Surely goodness and deuciness shall follow me all the days of my life, amen.”
There was a time before Lantian Chen. It was a dark time, but it was a time nonetheless. When Lantian came into being, a gift was bestowed upon the world in a way that rivals the Immaculate Conception. The scene is the South China Sea approximately two decades ago. One pleasant summer day, clouds built up ominously on the horizon. Thunder cracked as scars of light jumped from one cloud to another. The people of China could not prepare for this monsoon for it was like none they had ever seen–they were witnessing the birth of Lantian “SkyWave” Chen. Begotten of Grey Cloud and Blue Wave, Lantian’s body materialized as the rain fell and the whitecaps crashed and lightning struck. Sea captains who survived the storm report seeing a great, warm light through the sheets of rain. They report that the ball of light emitted silky tenor vocals, elegant mathematical proofs, and beautifully sculpted monologues. When his formation was completed, the ball of light which surrounded Lantian rose up into the clouds to be dropped in the backyard of an unsuspecting family. Though they knew not where this boy came from, this family raised him as their own and discovered that he was far from ordinary. The first sign that this boy was extraordinary was the sass that came out of his mouth when he said his first words. The math followed, and later the music. This boy was so extraordinary, in fact, that he became the prize of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, coveted for his talents by the a capella groups who sacrificed their own members in the Charles River to satisfy the Gods of Sea and Sky in the hopes that their penitence would earn them the chosen one. And that is how Lantian came to be a member of the MIT Logarhythms.